| 31 | Sinner’s Confession ||
Lacey collapsed on Devlin’s chest after what felt like an eternity in the clouds. He was still inside her, his penis pulsing from the aftermath of their intimacy. Her head rested on his chest, and his breathing slowly steadied the longer she laid there.
She listened to the consistent thumping of his heart buried down under ribs and lungs nestled in the core of his chest. His heartbeat was different from Jake’s, unique in its own right. Strong and deliberate, almost even, but the irregularity was constant, consistent. She remembered the same sound five years ago. It never left her, and neither did the feel of his tongue on her body. Goosebumps started to rise on her arms at the thought.
He pulled the covers over them but no other moves to dislodge their bodies. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back, shoulders, arms, in a mindless soothing way. “Tell me about him.” His low, heavy voice seemed to come from some mythical place in the dead silence of the moonlit room.
She sighed. What was with his sudden obsession with Jake? “Devlin―”
“I want to see how you saw him.”
She took a long steady breath in and let it leave at a similarly slow rate while she searched her mind to figure out what she was going to say about Jake. There was one thing she thought quite often throughout her time with Jake that always made her chest feel heavy. “I wish―” She paused, unsure if she should say what it was. He stopped rubbing his hands on her upper body as if he was waiting.
After she didn’t say anything, he spoke. “You wish he were still here?”
She frowned and brought her eyes to where she thought he was, but his were lost in the darkness. “That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Then what?” His voice was gentle, a word she never thought she’d use when talking about Devlin Sinn.
“I-I often wished I would have met him three months before.” She laid her head back on his chest, his dark chest hair tickling her face. She pulled her fingers through his hair there, her mind churning.
A fair question that she wasn’t sure she was prepared to answer, at least not to him.
She was surprised at how calm he was just casually discussing her dead husband like they were deciding on what to eat for dinner.
She looked at his face again. Her eyes had adjusted a bit to the darkness, and she could make out some of his features in the waning moonlight. His facial hair was starting to grow out, rimming his chin with a dark scruffy shadow. Her insides churned. “You. You happened.” She laid her head back on his chest.
He started rubbing her arms and back again. “Why didn’t you call?”
She shrugged, “It was a one night thing, right? What else did we have in common? I thought if I held out, I’d find my perfect man, and I did.” He paused his caresses for a moment then started up again.
She took another deep breath. This felt so strange confessing to him, but it also felt good to get it off her chest. These were deep-seeded feelings that she kept nestled in her heart. She felt ungrateful and guilty for these feelings because she was getting everything she asked for with Jake. “I couldn’t have made a better mate. He fit everything I was looking for. Checked every box. It was exciting at first; I couldn’t believe the universe had heard me and responded with such precision.” She took another breath, her mind easily formulating images to accompany her words. “Despite the time we spent together; however, more often than I care to admit, my mind and body would crave your touch. It was wrong; I know,” she said quickly, as if that would erase her treachery. “But it would always slide back into the shadows and life continued as it should. Next thing I know, we were married and celebrating our first year together, we started trying for a baby and―” Lacey wasn’t sure why her voice was shaky or why her eyes were leaking, was it shame she felt or loss? She wasn’t quite sure. She wanted to stop there; she didn’t want to recall the end of her time with Jake.
He kissed her hair. “And? What happened next?” She didn’t know this caring, compassionate side existed in this man. She wondered how many people got to see this part of him? Stitch seemed to be really close to Devlin. Did he know the Devil’s secret?
She licked the salty tears from her lips and kept on with her story. “And once we found out we couldn’t have a baby, we planned to adopt. We rarely argued, and when we did, I usually got my way.” She felt a deep rumble in his body as he laughed. She smiled and pulled her head away from his chest. She wished she could see him laugh. It was rare. “As much as I told myself our relationship was perfect,” she continued. “I kept trying to figure out what was wrong. He always seemed to be too understanding, too amicable, he seemed at times a skin-clad robot, saying and doing the right thing. Gosh, this sounds so ridiculous.”
“Keep going.” He urged.
She swallowed and felt the heat start collecting in her armpits. “I was the one that found him―” She swallowed. “Dead when I got home from work and―” She paused, debating how much to share. “And, I felt―” Gosh, she never considered saying this out loud because if she did, she’d go straight to hell without passing go. They wouldn’t even give her a chance at the gates to atone for her sins.
“What?” Devlin’s heavy voice brought her to the present.
“I felt sad but, not at first. At first, I felt―” She closed her eyes tight, the words bitter on her tongue, heavy on her mind. “I felt― relieved.” She exhaled, not even knowing she was holding her breath.
There, she said it.
It felt good and horrible at the same time, the same feeling when she found Jake lifeless in the tub. She was shocked, confused, her hands were shaking, she cried, but when his body was toted out the house and the CSI team had packed up and left, she felt relief while she packed her bag to stay with Rita.
He had stopped rubbing her arms, and when he didn’t say anything, shame started to consume her from head to toe. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”
She was taken aback by his low, dark laughter. “I’d say you’re in good company. There are no saints here.”
She yipped, when he flipped her on her back. He hovered over her, a dark mass of muscles under tanned skin that was washed in the moon’s pale light. His ebony, black hair was pulled back in a haphazard attempt at taming the inky tresses. There was about as good a chance of taming his hair as taming the man himself. She lay with her legs spread shamelessly as he moved down to kiss her ankle. She shivered at the contact.
“D-Devlin?” She bit her lower lip when his kisses made it to her thigh.
“Hmm?” He ran his tongue along her inner thigh, and she flexed her hips, moisture collecting at the cusp of her sex.
“W-what are you thinking?” She removed his hair tie and combed her fingers through his dark hair, scraping his scalp with her nails.
He kissed her other ankle, then her calf, licked from her knee to her inner thigh. “If I died,” he said, kissing her pelvic bone on each side. “Would you feel relieved?”
Her eyebrows pulled together. Her mind taken away from the erotic pleasure that the devilish man between her legs was delivering.
The thought of seeing this man’s lifeless body, his chest not moving, his tanned skin pale. She shivered a heavy cold weight settled in her chest.
She shook the thought. She wasn’t entirely certain what she’d do or how she’d feel. The thought never dared enter her mind.
Just the thought stilled her blood. She felt numb, nothing.
She moaned, arriving back to the present moment, her body igniting again when she felt his lips press against her most sensitive parts. He licked between the folds of her pussy, suckled the sensitive nub swollen from their previous play.
A large warm hand formed over her breast; long fingers pinched her nipples then his hand wrapped around her rib cage and waist and settled at her hips. Her hips were rolling slowly, flames licking the back of her head, heat consuming her.
This. This was also missing with Jake.
Sex wasn’t everything. She knew that. Their sex was fine, but it wasn’t this. She didn’t feel like lava was crawling up the walls of her body, like she was a volcano nearing eruption, like the destruction was just a new beginning every single time anew.
She moaned and gripped his hair as his tongue danced expertly over her clit with one intention, one sole purpose, one destination: rapture.
Her mind sored, her scream suspended in space and time as she was transported far into the misty clouds somewhere. Her brain tingled, her body seized with release, pulsed with life.
His voice brought her hazy mind to a semi-conscious state. Through her low eyes, she saw him tie off the condom and toss it in the general direction of the garbage bin. “Did you know your entire body went cold at just the thought of losing me?” He rumbled, an ominous silhouette in the darkness.
She nodded, unsure if he could see her.
“Mouths can lie.” He kissed her lips. “But bodies won’t.” He sucked her nipple into his mouth and rolled it around his tongue. She moaned and arched into his play. “Wanna know what I think?” He positioned his hips between her thighs and giddy excitement buzzed through her like electricity through a circuit.
She reached toward the night table. “Cond―”
He grabbed her arm and silenced her with a kiss. “Do you want to know what I think?” He asked again, after finally releasing her lips. He nibbled her ear.
She nodded and ran her fingers down his chest, reveling in the taught contoured planes of muscle under his smooth, warm skin. Her breath caught when he pushed his hard penis, thick and throbbing with no obstruction to keep her from feeling all of him. Deeper, every exquisite velvet covered inch of his length was intruding her sensitive heat.
He sucked in air and gritted his teeth with a growl when he hit the extent of her pussy. He moaned and hung his head. “How are you so fucking tight when we’ve been fucking all damn ni―” He gasped, when she rolled her hips arching toward him. He stilled her with the palm of his hand on her stomach.
A malicious laugh slipped from behind her teeth as the image of his dark brows pulled together in disapproval. She pulled him closer to her until their foreheads touched. She was certain from the moment she heard the low, dark undulations of his voice over five years ago that he would never be like any other man she knew or would come to know.
“Lacey?” Devlin pulled out and pushed his length back in, deep inside her.
“Hmm?” She groaned, at the painful pleasure that ricocheted through her body. She grabbed his buttocks and squeezed, wedging him in further.
“Do you want to know what I’m thinking?” He gasped.
She opened eyes she didn’t know were closed. “Mhm.”
She could hear the mischief in his husky, low voice. “How long do I need to hold off until I make you come again?”